"Don't cha learn THAT the hard way..."

[Lathis]

I'll get us started...

Scenario: I'm walking to class today, umbrella in one hand (it's pouring), coffee cup and cell phone in the other hand. Cell phone buzzes, so I twist my hand to look at the screen, dumping my coffee all over me. This is not even the first time I have done this exact thing... this month.

Lesson: Coffee is hot and plastic lids have poor resistance to hydraulic pressure. Don't cha learn that the hard way!

 

[FlChamMom]

Mine is coffee cup in one hand, lunch and purse in other hand. You have to be wearing the suit that cost more than a month's rent on your first apartment, of course. You open the car door, but not enough to counteract the self pullback mechanism. It hits the arm with the coffee soaking suit, lunch and purse. Purse will undoubtedly be the one suede handbag in your closet. The curse words that ensue end up getting you an anonymous letter in your mailbox from "a concerned mom"...

 

[Lathis]

The curse words that ensue end up getting you an anonymous letter in your mailbox from "a concerned mom"...

I just laughed so hard I almost peed myself!

One time my husband was picking me up for lunch from work. I was running late as usual getting out of the office (there's no easy place to park, so he picks me up on the curb). I stood up really quickly, forgetting I was wearing headphones. Instead of popping out of my ears, they yanked me head back down, smacking my nose on the edge of my desk. Bloody nose and two black eyes.

Sometime if you're really lucky, I'll tell you about the time I sneezed myself off the toilet. /facepalm

 

[FlChamMom]

On our first date my now husband, trying to be a gallant gentleman, opened the car door for me to get in. Me, entering the car with knees firmly together as my grandmother had pounded into my head (No one needs to see the flower before entering the garden, dear), had one foot trailing when he firmly shut the door. A determined fella, he proceeded to repeatedly try and shut the door on my hapless appendage, not knowing the problem. In shock and pain, I was silent through the first three slams. The foot ended up broken- he is lucky he was a cute guy with a good job....

 

[laurahlove]

On our first date my now husband, trying to be a gallant gentleman, opened the car door for me to get in. Me, entering the car with knees firmly together as my grandmother had pounded into my head (No one needs to see the flower before entering the garden, dear), had one foot trailing when he firmly shut the door. A determined fella, he proceeded to repeatedly try and shut the door on my hapless appendage, not knowing the problem. In shock and pain, I was silent through the first three slams. The foot ended up broken- he is lucky he was a cute guy with a good job....

That was so great!!!

 

[Lathis]

On our first date my now husband, trying to be a gallant gentleman, opened the car door for me to get in. Me, entering the car with knees firmly together as my grandmother had pounded into my head (No one needs to see the flower before entering the garden, dear), had one foot trailing when he firmly shut the door. A determined fella, he proceeded to repeatedly try and shut the door on my hapless appendage, not knowing the problem. In shock and pain, I was silent through the first three slams. The foot ended up broken- he is lucky he was a cute guy with a good job....

How awful!! We got trespassing tickets on our first date. $300 apiece because he wanted to show me the stars. I still bring it up when I want my way with something

 

[Psychobunny]

Ha! sounds like the stupid thing I did once in an elevator in my building at work.
Remember when coke came in glass bottles from those old vending machines?
Well, once I got 2 bottles, both opened, holding them between my fingers on one hand, and my lunch in the other hand.
While riding the elevator (with several other people) I absentmindently took a drink of coke, and the other bottle poured down the front of my shirt!!

On another day, walking to work with old newspaper in one hand, bills to mail in the other, I dumped the newspaper in the post box, and the bills in the trash can