If someone gives you a house key for emergencies...

Olimpia

Biologist & Ecologist
Do you take this to mean that you can come in whenever you want, even if the homeowner tells you not to, especially when they're not home?

Apparently a now ex-friend thinks that is exactly what this means. I'm sorry to vent personal issues on here but I'm up to my eyeballs in frustration. A friend of mine met an ex boyfriend of mine from TWO YEARS ago who is holding a still grudge on Saturday, spent all Sunday night chatting with him online (apparently learning what a horrible person I am), and then spent Monday night sending me malicious emails (along with a complete stranger, who has also decided to pass judgment on my life based on what this guy has told them). Absolutely ridiculous.

So in the spirit of not playing along and dragging out this drama, because I simply don't care, I told her to forget about me and to come get her things from my apartment (she has a single shopping bag of clothes and a sound system I don't want to touch). She got her boyfriend to ban me and mine from the Starbucks where he works (immature, anyone?) and is refusing to get her things from my house without having a cop present. Which is fine, if she wants to waste an officer's time then whatever.

Yesterday I let her know when we will be home, and to please not come in after 6, because we will not be home. She has a key I gave to her for emergencies months ago, so she says that because of that, she can do whatever she wants. I ask her politely again, do NOT come in without us present. She went on this rampage about how she has a key and can do whatever she wants, we can kiss her arse. She would not have "a child tell me when and what I can do!" I proceed to tell her, NO, my apartment. She started to get aggressive and threatening so we had the locks changed 20 minutes later. Then she began threatening us by saying her cop friend would find an excuse to get either myself or my bf in trouble, even going as far as threatening to deport me (which is stupid because you can't deport a permanent resident lol).

I'm still waiting on her to get her stuff, unfortunately. I don't know what has made her jump so hard off the deep end, but wow, she is getting scary. Which is sad, because she has a 4 year old that should be getting her undivided attention, not me and this vendetta.
 
Set it outside for her. Light it on fire, too.

All kidding aside, consider having a neutral police officer there when she decides to come over so nothing bad goes down.
You may want to make notes of everything that has been said in case something DOES happen.
Start printing emails, saving text messages, any phone calls, and RECORD conversations.

Oh and let me punch her in the head.
 
Syn's advice is good.

On the larger topic...no, if I have a key for an emergency, it's not my right to go in whenever I want.

We have keys for 2 or our neighbors and we would never use them for anything other than a very important situation. I won't say the building has to be on fire because I've used keys to put a delivered package in the living room. However, I've not used the key when it was obvious that the neighbor in question had a kitchen tool we really needed for a project.

It isn't carte blanch to do anything you want in their house, it's an aid to helping them if something happens while they are away.
 
if you have an address I would concider shipping the stuff to her!! take pictures of what you are shipping and get a tracking number so you can prove its was sent. I dont know what state your in but I believe that if its in your house then really its not much hers anymore!!!

good luck if I didnt know any better I would swear you were talking about my sister-in-law :eek:

but really I agree with the keep proof of everything that was said!!!!
 
As far as shipping the item goes that could be unreliable. It is best to deliver the items or have them pick it up with witnesses if things get "dirty." :/ Unfortunate but my sister had to do the same with her ex-boyfriend. I (unfortunately) have too much experience with this. :rolleyes:

As far as the in your house, now your property thing.. doesn't hurt to check w/the police.
 
I would take all of her threatening comments that you have proof of down to the station and file a restraining order
 
:confused: I dont know I had a close friend go through the same thing with a friend of hers and she tried to get an officer to come out to her house while the exchange happened and the officer told her that it was better for them to avoid contact, to mail the stuff to each other with a signature requested or contact a lawyer to meet with them. then told them they would be better off to forget the the whole thing and call it even since if it went before the courts the judge is going to say that you left it its not your any longer!! the whole thing was pretty annoying its sad how our cops cant/wont step in UNTIL something happens. Hopefully if you have to get the cops involved you get one who cares and does their job!!!!

May you guys could meet in mutual place a park or store instead of 'inviting' her back to your house where issues could happen!!!
 
Unfortunately I don't want to touch the sound system and give her ANY cause to charge me money. If it were just the clothes I would have dropped them off at her son's father's house three days ago and left it at that.

We already spoke to the police and the apartment management, and we are completely right in this situation. She is not a roommate and therefore cannot come in even if she has a key if we tell her not to. She says that because she had the intent to move in (she was going to become a roommate April 1st, but after this, obviously things have been cancelled) she has the right to do whatever she wants. But she never paid me rent, is not on the lease, and the amount of stuff she has here does not a move-in make. We will also be calling in our own officer to be present when she comes by.

It's just riddiculous what she's done since this started. We have kept everything she has sent us, much of which is definitely incriminating. Most of it is over text, which is in everyone's benefit since it's in writing. I've ignored her as much as possible but she will go on a 5 text rant, threatening us and continuously saying "still want to play?" As if this were UNO or something lol. She thinks it's a power play, but she's got no leverage and we have loads against her now.

I just want it over with as soon as possible without much legal intervention. If we have to go there then we will, but she's so unstable that I don't want to provoke her and have her do something stupid like wreck my car or something like that. She's nuts enough to try it, I bet.
 
Depends on the state.
I have been told by a police officer in California that if you give permission to enter once, or a key to enter that person has the right to enter at anytime. Wether the situation has changed it not.
I agree with Syn, change your locks, file a police report. The police at times feel a guilty person would not be the one to go the the cops. So PLEASE protect yourself, if out at nite do the 2' s system. She is diffently a little unstable. Be careful
 
well good luck hun sounds like your on the right path to get it done and over with!! as long as she didnt ever recieve mail there a judge will laugh in her face saying she can go in the appartment whenever she wants if she did recieve mail there it will be a tad bit harder to say she has no right in there but still with not being on a lease or any proof of money given you'll be great! Hope the annoyance is over for you very soon!!!! best wishes!!
 
Thanks for the concern! I think we'll be ok, she's just trying to make this a power play and end up on top. She's only 2 years older but keeps trying to bring me down by calling me a child, which is typical of insecure, immature people.

The locks have been changed, so now it's up to her to set a time to get her stuff like a normal adult. And then we can never see her again.
 
if you have an address I would concider shipping the stuff to her!! take pictures of what you are shipping and get a tracking number so you can prove its was sent. I dont know what state your in but I believe that if its in your house then really its not much hers anymore!!!

good luck if I didnt know any better I would swear you were talking about my sister-in-law :eek:

but really I agree with the keep proof of everything that was said!!!!

Ditto!!! (man I could darn near write a book on this one) GREAT ADVICE!
 
Need intelligent advice!

After nearly 3 weeks of nagging, she finally came by to get her stuff. The deal was that as long as my "terrifying" boyfriend wasn't at home, she would come alone as well. And she did, so she hands me a small bag with some of my things and starts grabbing her sound system. I realize that she still hasn't given me my books or my nice jacket, which are the things I want to get back the most from her. She says she'll give them to me in a sec. She loads up her car with her things and then goes on to try to drive away! And I'm like, where are my things? "Oh I forgot them at the house, I'll wash the jacket and bring it back."

As soon as she's off I get a text that says that as soon as I have the money to pay her back (she delusionally insists I owe her a lot of money, but will settle with $50), that she'll return my stuff. So now she's holding my stuff hostage until she gets her money.

So now I'm in a bit of a pickle. On one hand, I know she has no job or money right now and it'll probably piss her off more to not get a cent from me while I have plenty of money to replace my things, it's not a big deal to lose it although she took my favorite books and a nice jacket. But on the other hand, it just pisses me off that she gets to keep my nice things, especially when she's been as rotten as she has.

Does anyone have any ideas of how to get my stuff back without involving the law or getting us in trouble? A friend suggested we meet in a public place, I have a couple bucks rolled up so it looks like I have the money, have her give me my stuff first (have my big tall boyfriend with me) and then just leave with what is rightfully mine. She can't get the cops involved because I have witnesses that proove the items are mine, and she can't proove that I owe her any money. Because I don't.

Any better suggestions?
I'll sacrifice my stuff if I have to, but I'd prefer it if she didn't benefit from my stuff.
 
Maybe you can ask someone you both trust to mediate? Scaring her with your boyfriend probably wont help. (I mean, if I honestly was scared of a friend's bf, I WOULD NOT want to be in any situation that involved him, especially when he is on the opposite end of an argument!)

You will obviously have to give a little with this woman. Having another unbiased opinion there can help, and may possibly help her to see the light. Just make sure that she actually trusts the person. It sounds like she is one of those people that just keep fighting when they are backed into a corner.
 
Or have your boyfriend wait in the car within sight. That way he won't be up close and scary, but if anything goes down he's still there. Or meet somewhere with surveillance cameras so there is proof is she tries anything and the money you hand her is all you supposedly owed her.
 
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