Ambanja Male Screamer

stevereecy

New Member
Dear Sir,

I am writing you this letter to express my extreme dissatisfaction in a chameleon that I purchased from you. You may recall that I am the collector from Florida with the female Ambanja-Nosy Be-Sambava-Tamatave-Ambilobe cross that produced flat gray offspring.

In any event, I answered your advertisement for a "Male Purple Banded Ambanja Screamer" and purchased him for full price for $550 plus $75 in shipping charges.

When I received him, I was well pleased with his appearance, though you failed to mention that he did not have a tail. Also, I learned that his balance problems were not due to an "inner ear infection" as you suggested, but rather...as my vet pointed out...his right legs are shorter than his left ones.

No, I am writing because, though I have had him now for almost a full month, he has made no sound whatsoever. Not a peep. At this point, I am concerned about what appears to be deceptive advertising methods. He was advertised as a "SCREAMER", yet he has yet to make a sound! What type of customer service is this? I understand that they all can't be winners, but I expected something. Maybe a yell, or at least a yodel, but all he does is suns himself in complete silence. Its very irritating!

I feel let down by this whole experience because I understand you are new to this business but I thought I'd take a chance on you for a superior animal.

Please write me back and tell me the trick to making him scream. Despite protests from my wife, I even tried thumping him and squeezing his tail stump, but it had no effect. Not even when I tried to stretch his right legs. Perhaps I am using the wrong feeding methods (free-range), or (worse), he may have laryngitis.

Thank you in advance for your assistance in this matter,

Steven Reecy
chameleonplantation.com

P.S. And why does he keep trying to dig a hole at the base of his plant???
 
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This is kinda confusing. Did someone write this to you? I can imagine a person running around to all his friends going my chameleon is going to scream louder than yours hahahaha. Next thing you know he will be waking up in the morning to his cham screaming thinking its a damn rooster or something hahahahaha.

Whats up with the flat grey offspring and the whole tail and legs thing?
 
Well, I guess its better than the alternative:

"Dear Sir;

I was very pleased with my Adult Male Ambanja Screamer you sold me...

Until it started screaming.

Is there any way to shut this thing up? I haven't slept in three days! Its constant, I tell you! I just thought that your use of the word, "Screamer" in your ad was some type of advertising gimmick. But my GOD! It won't quit!

My wife has already left me, and the Police have been to my house because the screaming goes on until all hours of the night.

Its insane, I tell you!

Can you help me??? Will you buy it back? I will also include two pairs of ear muffs that I purchased if you'll just take the damn thing back.

Please?

Steve"
 
You all need to work on the ability to spot fantastic (and well written) saterical jokes! I loved the origional post stevereecy - well done!
 
I thought this was written to him but was confused hahaha got me. That is funny as hell though. I cant stop laughing thinkin about someone bummed out that it doesnt scream ahahahaha. Personally I love that my chams are quiet for I cant stand noisy animals as pets.
 
You all need to work on the ability to spot fantastic (and well written) saterical jokes! I loved the origional post stevereecy - well done!

Thanks. I was chuckling when I wrote it. But honestly, I wish I'd have started with the "my chameleon screams too much" idea first...really makes me laugh. The thought of someone opening the UPS package, pulling out the cham, and it just starts screaming won't stop. funny stuff!

I know I'm twisted, but I just read yet another advertisement listing a chameleon as "screaming" and it gave me the spark. The only folks that should be using that adjective is Screameleons because they thought of it first.

Steve
 
That cracks me up, Steve. You had me going at first, like it was some kind of open complaint letter.

Then the thought of actual screaming chameleons made me giggle. Then I thought of one of my chams that actually whistles when she tries to hiss (like it's coming out her nose or something). Maybe I'll market her babies as Whistling Veileds - Buy Four and get FREE SHEET MUSIC.
 
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