Well the babies dont look like roaches, they look like pill bugs. And they even try to curl up into little balls.
And if you call them "beetles" enough times, you start believing it.
Use tongs.
Never look at the underbellies.
And for motivation. They will never bite you or your coldblooded family, they will never chirp, and they will never breed(and most of the time even molt) if they get out. And as a bonus they almost never smell or need cleaned out.
Not unreasonable to be slightly hung up on Dubias! I'm more wary of the classical looking roaches...like Turks (Red Runner Roaches AKA Turkistan Roaches). They run fast and look kind of slimy (to me at least). Still, my boy loves them so I'm happy to keep them around - sometimes. Dubias, on the other hand, do look more like roly polys as nightanole mentioned. Put some in a cup and observe their behaviors, movements, etc. Sometimes just observing something that scares us teaches us to relax a bit and gain familiarity. I think you'll find they're quite ordinary and fail to live up to the terrible images we all have in our minds!
And yes, tongs also go a long way in reducing the fear factor when all else fails Good luck; your cham will appreciate your bravery!
They used to make my skin crawl, then I forced myself to hand-feed them to my scaly pal.
I still don't care for them. I know they're clean, I know they don't bite, I know they're not the disease-ridden, filthy pest roaches we all hate and fear. I know all that and I still don't like 'em. They still look like roaches. They have the same roach will to survive. But I'm not afraid of them any more and I handle them without (much) hesitation.
I HATED them at first. But I hated crickets more. I used tongs as well but had a hard time catching them with it because I was afraid of squishing them. The fact that they look more like pill bugs helps a lot. I used latex gloves for a while too. Now I could care less unless I'm cleaning out their bin. I don't like touching the poo!
For my cham I hold one upside-down on my extended fingers. They will kind of roll up like a pill bug, cradled in the dip between my fingers and be still so they don't crawl all over and it will stay there long enough for my cham to get it from my fingers.
I did try and start a colony for a while but to be honest the adult males really freaked me out and still do. I avoid touching them at all costs! So I fed off all my adults to my adult beardie and just order small and medium dubia 500 at a time. When they are too big for my cham they are perfect for my beardie. They do not grow super fast either and I only have to order every 4 months or so. I like them so much better than crickets. I very rarely get any dead ones on arrival and rarely find dead ones in the bin. If I do its just one or two over a span of a few months.
They do shed their exo as they grow so you will find a white one once and a while but those are a really great treat for your reptiles as they are soft. My beardie goes nuts when she sees a white one.