Civility and good will

[OldChamKeeper]

<Rolls open his boulder. Sees kids on his lawn and in his rock garden. Now throwing his rocks at each other in said garden.>

Look, when you see a new person posting stuff you don't like do either A) don't post at all and maybe let a mod know. They like those private PM's over a forum fight, or B) make a conscious effort to be careful in your very first post. Nobody is going to listen to you if you come off with a "Didn't you do your homework first before buying this poor animal? You dumbass." or some version of that.

I worked in the pet industry for nearly fifteen years, the average customer doesn't know a damn thing about what they are buying. Be that a lizard, a salt water fish, a parrot, or even sometimes <gasp> a puppy. Keep that in mind when you see a younger or new member and suddenly your blood pressure drops.

The fact somebody comes here in the first place is an indication they are looking for information. All of you, every frigging one of you, should realize that and welcome that.

 

[OldChamKeeper]

Oh, and I forgot to mention this. If you take a moment and really read what the new person is talking about you can sort them into either category A) a new keeper looking for info or category B) some turkey looking to toot their own horn about chameleon keeping.

You don't have to coddle new members, just don't turn them away with a snarky response. The turkey's on the other hand, well turkey's are good eating...

Now put my rocks back where you got them, get off my lawn, go back to playing in the street.

<Closes boulder>

 

[KobaOregonherper]

Oh, and I forgot to mention this. If you take a moment and really read what the new person is talking about you can sort them into either category A) a new keeper looking for info or category B) some turkey looking to toot their own horn about chameleon keeping.

You don't have to coddle new members, just don't turn them away with a snarky response. The turkey's on the other hand, well turkey's are good eating...

Now put my rocks back where you got them, get off my lawn, go back to playing in the street.

<Closes boulder>

Bahahahahahaha! *sniff* smells like turkey season!

 

[AnamCara]

<Rolls open his boulder. Sees kids on his lawn and in his rock garden. Now throwing his rocks at each other in said garden.>

Look, when you see a new person posting stuff you don't like do either A) don't post at all and maybe let a mod know. They like those private PM's over a forum fight, or B) make a conscious effort to be careful in your very first post. Nobody is going to listen to you if you come off with a "Didn't you do your homework first before buying this poor animal? You dumbass." or some version of that.

I worked in the pet industry for nearly fifteen years, the average customer doesn't know a damn thing about what they are buying. Be that a lizard, a salt water fish, a parrot, or even sometimes <gasp> a puppy. Keep that in mind when you see a younger or new member and suddenly your blood pressure drops.

The fact somebody comes here in the first place is an indication they are looking for information. All of you, every frigging one of you, should realize that and welcome that.

Thank you, O Wise One!

 

[KRGEE21]

<Rolls open his boulder. Sees kids on his lawn and in his rock garden. Now throwing his rocks at each other in said garden.>

Look, when you see a new person posting stuff you don't like do either A) don't post at all and maybe let a mod know. They like those private PM's over a forum fight, or B) make a conscious effort to be careful in your very first post. Nobody is going to listen to you if you come off with a "Didn't you do your homework first before buying this poor animal? You dumbass." or some version of that.

I worked in the pet industry for nearly fifteen years, the average customer doesn't know a damn thing about what they are buying. Be that a lizard, a salt water fish, a parrot, or even sometimes <gasp> a puppy. Keep that in mind when you see a younger or new member and suddenly your blood pressure drops.

The fact somebody comes here in the first place is an indication they are looking for information. All of you, every frigging one of you, should realize that and welcome that.

I wish you would roll that boulder off your cave door more often.

 

[OldChamKeeper]

Bahahahahahaha! *sniff* smells like turkey season!

Yep, see one now as a matter of fact. Now you stay right there while I go get my bird shot...

 

[Decadancin]

My goal is always to put the chameleons first. If that means I have to massage the feeling of the owner to get them the care they need I will. I learned when I was working in vet hospitals that if you agree with someone or at least acknowledge their point they are much more willing to listen to and come around to your point. Now you will all notice when I do it to you.
Don't start statements with no or never. It shuts the listener down. It's just a basic communication skill. I know why it happens on here we are busy people and sometimes that is all you have time to rattle off.
I do appreciate that some people won't listen until you get firm with them and I do appreciate some of the "black sheep" on here playing bad cop to my good cop. We have a system that works. I love a lively debate. I just need opinions that can be backed up with some kind of evidence/experience and no name calling. I'm here to learn, share and help in-between. If we don't debate this will be nothing but an echo chamber.

Careful, that sounds like a post from a moderator. You don't want to be associated with that bunch...

 

[JacksJill]

@Decadancin I said no name calling

 

[The Wild One]

Thank you, O Wise One!
View attachment 242911

Tell me you drew that

 

[AnamCara]

Tell me you drew that

I wish I couldnt find a source either!

 

[Beman]

Ok what did I miss? I leave for a week to get moved and I come back to this post. Are y'all being brats again? I just need to stick around and spread my happy good cheer apparently.

While I can not comment on whatever blew up in my absence. I love this forum and this community. I love the wealth of knowledge here and the people that I consider family. I hope whatever happened blew over. I think there are situations that I have seen that are unfortunate. I think it is important to remember the people that come here are most often then not actually seeking advice. If we are to be active members here then we have to remember to approach EVERY situation without bringing in prejudice because some of the others before that person have been irritating. Just my two cents...

I missed you all. Happy to be back now. xoxoxo

 

[Lennoncham]

While I have no idea what this thread is referring to or it may just be a generalization. For the most part what I have seen on here is people taking the time to explain things then get defensive when they get pushback. Yes there is random incidents of name calling but it is pretty rare on here and is dealt with quickly by the mods. Maybe sometimes people don’t explain themselves properly or people don’t understand the context when reading posts online.

Arguments are how ideas get talked through. Sometimes people need to be called out so they can see your frustration and maybe think of things in a different way. I don’t think that making a thread calling out everyone on their behaviour is much different then calling out an individual.

 

[KobaOregonherper]

Ok what did I miss? I leave for a week to get moved and I come back to this post. Are y'all being brats again? I just need to stick around and spread my happy good cheer apparently.

While I can not comment on whatever blew up in my absence. I love this forum and this community. I love the wealth of knowledge here and the people that I consider family. I hope whatever happened blew over. I think there are situations that I have seen that are unfortunate. I think it is important to remember the people that come here are most often then not actually seeking advice. If we are to be active members here then we have to remember to approach EVERY situation without bringing in prejudice because some of the others before that person have been irritating. Just my two cents...

I missed you all. Happy to be back now. xoxoxo

No I made some people mad calling them out for "rescuing" from a big box store by purchasing them. This thread was posted 10 seconds later XD. Probably not directly correlated but sure seemed like it lol.

 

[Beman]

No I made some people mad calling them out for "rescuing" from a big box store by purchasing them. This thread was posted 10 seconds later XD. Probably not directly correlated but sure seemed like it lol.

While I do not know if that was the situation that prompted this thread my feelings are different then yours. I rescued by purchasing from Petco. I do not find anything wrong with it. I never would have gotten into the hobby had I not seen Beman that day. Honestly having a reptile was never on my to do list. I think people come here and see that "we" don't think pet stores are where to buy from so they say rescue hoping not to get the backlash.

I understand the point of view that everyone has on petstores but we are talking about huge corporations that are not going to stop buying chameleons. Their business model is to fill their cages and sell animals. I don't care where someone gets a cham from. As long as they are seeking out the info to give it a long, happy, and healthy life then I will gladly help provide whatever info I can. That is why I help all the newbies. That is why they have been my inspiration to stay and give of my time. While I do not know everything, I do know basic husbandry and I feel that the least I can do is come with an open mind and provide thorough feedback.

I think we get too caught up in our opinions on how everything must be done. The order of it all. I think "we" miss the mark with those that come here actually seeking help because "we" are too quick to judge. Not thoroughly reading the thread to see all the info provided. Jumping to assumptions. We are not making an ass out of them, we are making asses out of ourselves.

I watched this community wrap its arms around me in my time of sadness. I was supported and it was the only thing that got me through. I know the love and kindness that resides here. I wish we could reflect that to all that come here eager to learn and grow.

 

[Kristen Wilkins]

No I made some people mad calling them out for "rescuing" from a big box store by purchasing them. This thread was posted 10 seconds later XD. Probably not directly correlated but sure seemed like it lol.

@KobaOregonherper i was not mad , It just was none productive and would only get the thread derailed . She already had the chameleon. I completely agree with your point . I also agree with big box stores should not be allowed to sell any animal . As I said I come across as rude sometimes with how blunt I can be . To be sure the baby lives she needs help and thats what she was asking for .

 

[KobaOregonherper]

While I do not know if that was the situation that prompted this thread my feelings are different then yours. I rescued by purchasing from Petco. I do not find anything wrong with it. I never would have gotten into the hobby had I not seen Beman that day. Honestly having a reptile was never on my to do list. I think people come here and see that "we" don't think pet stores are where to buy from so they say rescue hoping not to get the backlash.

I understand the point of view that everyone has on petstores but we are talking about huge corporations that are not going to stop buying chameleons. Their business model is to fill their cages and sell animals. I don't care where someone gets a cham from. As long as they are seeking out the info to give it a long, happy, and healthy life then I will gladly help provide whatever info I can. That is why I help all the newbies. That is why they have been my inspiration to stay and give of my time. While I do not know everything, I do know basic husbandry and I feel that the least I can do is come with an open mind and provide thorough feedback.

I think we get too caught up in our opinions on how everything must be done. The order of it all. I think "we" miss the mark with those that come here actually seeking help because "we" are too quick to judge. Not thoroughly reading the thread to see all the info provided. Jumping to assumptions. We are not making an ass out of them, we are making asses out of ourselves.

I watched this community wrap its arms around me in my time of sadness. I was supported and it was the only thing that got me through. I know the love and kindness that resides here. I wish we could reflect that to all that come here eager to learn and grow.

And we all understand that. None of us wish that situation on anyone. But as I told JoeXie, we will have to agree to disagree. The big box stores will stop if enough people cared. Petco and petsmart no longer buy dogs and cats from mills and sell them because enough people did something about it. I cant condone standing by and doing nothing. So I will always mention it. If you read the post I didnt get mean whatsoever, was more so snarky. I even made sure the OP was fine and didnt take what I said to seriously. Im also aware that anyone who purchased their pet from a store is going to be defensive. Im never going to condone the human condition of impulse buying either. Just because people impulse buy an animal doesnt justify the purchase of said animal for everyone forever. We all know to do our research now, and we should welcome anyone here who has a desire to learn. But we should also correct mistakes not enable them. If someone has the wrong lighting we fix it, if someone thinks that buying from a big box petstore is a good idea we should fix that. Im not in the business of enabling or coddling. We have plenty of people here who are better at that, we cant all be the good cop or nothing gets solved lol.

P.S glad you're back!

 

[KobaOregonherper]

@KobaOregonherper i was not mad , It just was none productive and would only get the thread derailed . She already had the chameleon. I completely agree with your point . I also agree with big box stores should not be allowed to sell any animal . As I said I come across as rude sometimes with how blunt I can be . To be sure the baby lives she needs help and that makes what she was asking for .

For sure, I know how you feel on the situation lol. I was merely jesting at the topic. Probably wasnt the right time or place.

 

[Kristen Wilkins]

While I do not know if that was the situation that prompted this thread my feelings are different then yours. I rescued by purchasing from Petco. I do not find anything wrong with it. I never would have gotten into the hobby had I not seen Beman that day. Honestly having a reptile was never on my to do list. I think people come here and see that "we" don't think pet stores are where to buy from so they say rescue hoping not to get the backlash.

I understand the point of view that everyone has on petstores but we are talking about huge corporations that are not going to stop buying chameleons. Their business model is to fill their cages and sell animals. I don't care where someone gets a cham from. As long as they are seeking out the info to give it a long, happy, and healthy life then I will gladly help provide whatever info I can. That is why I help all the newbies. That is why they have been my inspiration to stay and give of my time. While I do not know everything, I do know basic husbandry and I feel that the least I can do is come with an open mind and provide thorough feedback.

I think we get too caught up in our opinions on how everything must be done. The order of it all. I think "we" miss the mark with those that come here actually seeking help because "we" are too quick to judge. Not thoroughly reading the thread to see all the info provided. Jumping to assumptions. We are not making an ass out of them, we are making asses out of ourselves.

I watched this community wrap its arms around me in my time of sadness. I was supported and it was the only thing that got me through. I know the love and kindness that resides here. I wish we could reflect that to all that come here eager to learn and grow.

Its likely me @KobaOregonherper referring too , I was fairly short , sounded like a B**** .

 

[JacksJill]

If someone makes a comment on a new persons thread asking for help that you want to respond to without derailing the thread and confusing the OP you can "Quote" the comment and either start another thread with it or PM with the quote. These people are overwhelmed enough. If it's been bothering you that much put it in general discussion or take it to the lounge.
I love a good tangent but not until after the problem has been addressed.

 

[Kristen Wilkins]

For sure, I know how you feel on the situation lol. I was merely jesting at the topic. Probably wasnt the right time or place.

Nah I’m guilty as well of speaking my mind sometimes not where I should . I came across as a jerk .