Ginormous grasshopper!

[MissSkittles]

I was at a patient’s house yesterday morning when I happened to see this monster hopper! I swear the thing was as long as one of my fingers. My patient’s family told me it was a grasshopper, but Google says it’s a lubber. At one point it was staring at me and I swear it was thinking about leaping into my hair. Had it done that, I would have had to grab one of their cigarette lighters and torch my head immediately. It was kind of pretty though for being so scary and icky.

 

[Persnickety Parson's]

Lubber or painted grasshopper.

Cool pets, toxic feeders.

 

[Klyde O'Scope]

I was at a patient’s house yesterday morning when I happened to see this monster hopper! I swear the thing was as long as one of my fingers. My patient’s family told me it was a grasshopper, but Google says it’s a lubber.

Technically, lubbers are grasshoppers, but...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romaleidae

Looks like you may have stumbled onto one of these fellows... BICBW.
http://bugoftheweek.com/blog/2018/1...eastern-lubber-grasshopper-romalea-microptera

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romalea