military?

[amanda509]

soo..in the confines of my hot tub lastnight, my boyfriend and i had a talk about him joining the military. he's not quite sure what to think of it, but his dad is seriously pushing it. we're both scared to death about the topic as we've both lost loved ones in the war. he's not sure what branch he'd like, or better yet, which one is safest. we worked so hard to get our relationship where its at right now and the last thing we want is him going overseas, or changing our relationship by being gone all the time, or it changing his state of mind, or the worst. so from experience, how does this thing work? what branch would be the best/safest, which one will keep him in the u.s. on a base that i can stay with him (in an apt off base of course). what is expected mentally and what should we be prepared for?

 

[camimom]

soo..in the confines of my hot tub lastnight, my boyfriend and i had a talk about him joining the military. he's not quite sure what to think of it, but his dad is seriously pushing it. we're both scared to death about the topic as we've both lost loved ones in the war. he's not sure what branch he'd like, or better yet, which one is safest. we worked so hard to get our relationship where its at right now and the last thing we want is him going overseas, or changing our relationship by being gone all the time, or it changing his state of mind, or the worst. so from experience, how does this thing work? what branch would be the best/safest, which one will keep him in the u.s. on a base that i can stay with him (in an apt off base of course). what is expected mentally and what should we be prepared for?

i think he needs to consider what joining the military does to both of you.
When they start out, they move around alot, dont make alot of money, hes gone for training, sometimes for unknown periods of time and he may not be able to tell you where he is.

no one branch is safer than others, just different. He should figure out what he wants to do in life, then join the branch that offers that.

 

[Olimpia]

If HE doesn't really want to join the military, then don't let him. No one should be pushed into a decision like that, which could potentially cost him his life. It's one thing if he is voluntarily willing to join and make that sacrifice but it is NOT a decision to be forced into.

 

[Flapenn]

Gotta remember its not a job. You are government property. They don't really have your best interest in mind EVER. Dying isn't the worst thing that can happen to you. You could come back without a scratch and still never be mentally the same again. My uncle was drafted into Vietnam so he had no choice and he came back after gettin sprayed with agent orange with loads of health problems. Hepatitis c, diabetes, and liver failure, post traumatic stress disorder......

 

[Olimpia]

Flapenn, its true. They used to say that the government asks you to die for your country - now they ask you to live permanently disfigured for your country. Now they can save you from all sorts of horrific injuries that would have killed you 20 years ago and you come back just a fraction of what you were, not just physically but mentally. I read a book on head trauma a few months ago and the bulk of it were military injuries.

Again, this isn't a decision anyone should be pressured into. My father had to join the Italian military because it was a mandatory part of being a man and he hated it. He never saw any action but he resented being forced into service. Same with my Lebanese friends now, being forced/pressured into joining the military isn't anything I would advocate.

 

[Millerj0469]

I was in for four years and haven't had a problem. I went to Iraq twice and didn't come back with any health related issues. I think if he wants a job with ok pay but great benefits it would be good for him. I know most girlfriends dont want to deal with something like this but I have seen guys that kept the same girlfriend the whole time they were in. any questions PM me.

 

[ChameleonRave]

My oldest brother Jason, just got out after being in for almost 8 years. He had nothing wrong with him coming back. He went over about 4-5 times in Iraq/Iran. There are serious things that can happen. Keep everything in mind. My father pushed my other brother Jon into getting into the reserves. He failed school and got kicked out.. It's really stressful to everyone in the situation and especially the one that is going off to fight for our country. Some people say that in order to escape South Dakota's confines of factory work and no schooling after high school they joined the Army and other branches. If he doesn't want to do it than he shouldn't do it.

 

[sharlaxle]

12 years in 7 with the Marines, 4 with the Army. Injured by a roadside bomb and chaptered out. Now a Phd in Pharmacy. Was it rough yes, was it worth it yes. Can I tell you what to expect? Not really. It will depend on what he likes to do. Also if your relationship is stable then longterm or distances won't affect it, however if it is not it will not survive. It's not the distance that kills a relationship its the inability for one or both partners to be strong enough to stand alone.
Sharl

 

[sandrachameleon]

... he's not quite sure what to think of it, but his dad is seriously pushing it. we're both scared to death about the topic ......

This is absolutely the WRONG way to consider entering the military. A person should want to join, have a reason to join, and NEVER by pushed or pressured into it. This goes for pretty much Any job, but even more so when it is dangerous and you are unable to just Quit at any time for any reason.

I have friends in the Canadian Navy. They are happy and more or less safe - safer than army. They joined because they LIKE the types of jobs / work they do - they themselves WANTED to join (despite the reservations and concerns of friends and family).

They now have good technical skills they gained through joining, and they will retire with a decent pension at a decent age (unless they are killed or maimed beforehand).

They sometimes work very long hours. Other times they really seem to have it easy! They are periodically away from home for months and months. It has caused one of them to have a failed relationship because her partner didnt like her being away so much - It was impossible for him to want to start a family knowing he would be a "single father" for every deployment she had.

 

[reptilover]

If HE doesn't really want to join the military, then don't let him. No one should be pushed into a decision like that, which could potentially cost him his life. It's one thing if he is voluntarily willing to join and make that sacrifice but it is NOT a decision to be forced into.

Exactly everyone's life is there own. If he doesn't want to then don't. My dad pushed the navy on me hard. to the point of sending recruiters to my house (i snuck out my window when they pulled up) until I was 18 then it was a big middle finger. I have a great job now Doing wat I love and my dad got over It and is proud of me now

 

[amanda509]

If HE doesn't really want to join the military, then don't let him. No one should be pushed into a decision like that, which could potentially cost him his life. It's one thing if he is voluntarily willing to join and make that sacrifice but it is NOT a decision to be forced into.

even though his dad is pushing it, he's also seeming very convincing, telling him free schooling, high pay, training, never did he once sit down and talk to him about the bad things. i hate his dad..i really do, he is the only son of 5 kids, ud think his dad wouldnt want him risking his life like that..

Gotta remember its not a job. You are government property. They don't really have your best interest in mind EVER. Dying isn't the worst thing that can happen to you. You could come back without a scratch and still never be mentally the same again. My uncle was drafted into Vietnam so he had no choice and he came back after gettin sprayed with agent orange with loads of health problems. Hepatitis c, diabetes, and liver failure, post traumatic stress disorder......

im afraid thats what might happen. he is a very sweet, romantic, sensible, fun loving guy..and im afraid after something like that..he will never be the same ever again..mentally or physically..these pictures alone describe his personality as it is now..https://www.chameleonforums.com/members/amanda509-albums-man-3.html just imagine what it could be like after..

I was in for four years and haven't had a problem. I went to Iraq twice and didn't come back with any health related issues. I think if he wants a job with ok pay but great benefits it would be good for him. I know most girlfriends dont want to deal with something like this but I have seen guys that kept the same girlfriend the whole time they were in. any questions PM me.

im not necessarily one sided on joining the services completely because i do understand it is right for some people. certain people love their jobs there and love what they do. for instance, my cousin has been on the bomb squad in the air force for 12 years!!! he LOVES it..but he was one of the lucky few who aced all his testing to get a position that good..my boyfriend on the other hand..probably wont be so lucky.

12 years in 7 with the Marines, 4 with the Army. Injured by a roadside bomb and chaptered out. Now a Phd in Pharmacy. Was it rough yes, was it worth it yes. Can I tell you what to expect? Not really. It will depend on what he likes to do. Also if your relationship is stable then longterm or distances won't affect it, however if it is not it will not survive. It's not the distance that kills a relationship its the inability for one or both partners to be strong enough to stand alone.
Sharl

we've been friends most of our life and have started dating about 2 years ago but couldnt completely enjoy it because of our age limitations and our parents. but now, we have free reign, and truly starting to have a full relationship...i want to be with him for as long as possible..but i dont want something like this to tear us apart. we're just now starting to go on real dates! and if he joins, soon enough, he'll be gone all the time and we wont be able to enjoy anything like this again until he's out...

 

[Zen Reptiles]

IMO Tell him to form a Rebel Alliance and fight your own government

 

[amanda509]

IMO Tell him to form a Rebel Alliance and fight your own government

i wish -.- the government has been getting way out of hand these days..not sure if ur a gun person, but read this: READ THIS....esp if you are a vet..just passed onto me by my Aunt.....

BEWARE!!!!!!
Subject: Do you have a gun in your House?

Very good information!

What you permit , you promote


When I had my gangrene gallbladder taken out and spent 10 days in the hospital for what should have been an overnight stay the insurance company kicked me out. I had home nurse visits for two weeks and was asked if I had guns in the house. I respond that if I did I would not tell them. So the below has some merit.

FYI, I am passing this along...there are comments from two other people I have also been asked if we keep guns in the house. The nurse just kinda slipped it in along with all the other regular questions. I told her I refused to answer because it was against the law to ask.

Everyone, whether you have guns or not, should give a neutral answer so they have no idea who does and who doesn't. My doctor asked me if I had guns in my house and also if any were loaded. I, of course, answered yes to both questions. Then he asked why I kept a loaded gun close to my bed. I answered that my son, who is a certified gun instructor and also works for Homeland Security, advised me that an unloaded, locked up gun is no protection against criminal attack.

The Government now requires these questions be asked of people on Medicare, and probably everyone else.

Just passing this along for your information: I had to visit a doctor other than my regular doctor when my doctor was on vacation.. One of the questions on the form I had to fill out was: Do you have any guns in your house?? My answer was None of your damn business!!

So it is out there! It is either an insurance issue or government intervention. Either way, it is out there and the second the government gets into your medical records (as they want to under Obamacare) it will become a major issue and will ultimately result in lock and load!!

Please pass this on to all the other retired guys and gun owners...Thanks, from a Vietnam Vet and retired Police Officer: I had a doctors appointment at the local VA clinic yesterday and found out something very interesting that I would like to pass along. While going through triage before seeing the doctor, I was asked at the end of the exam, three questions:1. Did I feel stressed? 2. Did I feel threatened? 3. Did I feel like doing harm to someone?

The nurse then informed me, that if I had answered yes to any of the questions, I would have lost my concealed carry permit as it would have gone into my medical records and the VA would have reported it to Homeland Security.

Looks like they are going after the vets first. Other gun people like retired law enforcement will probably be next. Then when they go after the civilians, what argument will they have? Be forewarned and be aware. The Obama administration has gone on record as considering veterans and gun owners potential terrorists. Whether you are a gun owner, veteran or not, YOU"VE BEEN WARNED !

If you know veterans and gun owners, please pass this on to them. Be very cautious about what you say and to whom.

 

[Flapenn]

a close friend of mine was shot by a sniper in the head in afganastan and now hes on all kinds of meds, he cant sleep at night. The first few years back he would go crazy when he got drunk like doing combat rolls behind the couch. He is physically fine. He wasnt disabled at all except for mentally, thank god he had a helmet and and he only got a pretty good nic to the head he has slowly been gettin better but you never forget murder. Any war vet has told me the worst is reflecting back on the bad things they had to do and it eats at their soul.

and again its NOT A JOB your property

 

[Zen Reptiles]

I don't know what you learn about the military in the States, but when I was in highschool we were taught in the first History class about in WW1 our forefathers were given the 'glorious promise of war, to return war heroes' and how our forefathers had no idea of the true horrors of war. From a very early age I was taught, at school, how war is a last resort kind of thing because it ruins people, cultures, countries, diplomatic relations, economies, and ends many more lives than ever expected.

It's not just the rulers who are the problem, it is the people who join the military. Every person I know (honestly not too many, a dozen or so) who joined the army here was abused as a child or is just a spaced out, low IQ individual. They are GOONS, not soldiers.

I'm with Ron Paul on all of this, spend money and resources on defense, but when you go on the offense like you have over the last decade, well, things get out of hand.

Your Constitution starts with, in large print for emphasis, 'WE THE PEOPLE' for a reason. Your entire country was founded on Pacifism. Defense instead of Offense.

To join the army to go into an undeclared war, started with wrong accusations and no evidence, is just plain wrong, and you are either unaware or ignorant of the real facts behind it all. Just look at the corruption involved and who has gained from it. Bush with his oil tycoon friends/family, Cheney with Halliburton, US Bankers.

On our national news program, CBC, we always have programs on about the corruption in the states, 9/11, the wars. I try to talk about Americans about it when I am traveling and none of them know anything about the truth behind it all. Not even the soldiers. No one even knows what building 7 was, where all the gold went missing during the attacks.

What is especially interesting is the programs on veterans, and how mistreated they are. Even those who helped with 9/11, the 'hero abuse' they have endured with health issues and no assistance from government.

No one knows Islamic war philosophy. They wait until their enemies resources are exhausted, and have forgotten about the war. Then they attack. These wars are just causing so many psychologically damaged Natives to the Middle East that they will grow up with a vengeance against the USA. Is it because your leader, commander in chief, asked your soldiers to go? Or because your soldiers just blindly follow the will of a clearly corrupted leader? The power lies with the people, in every sense of the phrase.

That, IMO, is unacceptable. Ron Paul is truly your only chance at salvation as a nation and as a member of the international community, and hes is the one reason the world (Canada at least), is gaining more respect for the USA. Here, we wear Ron Paul shirts because we like him so much lol! I have one myself. In Canada we are facing similar problems with our Prime Minister, he isn't a very honest guy. Unfortunately his only true rival and our chance at salvation, Jack Layton, died from a long battle with Cancer a few months ago.

With the way the US thinks it is okay to attack first and ask questions later, there are going to be big problems in the next decade with North Korea, Pakistan, China, and the Middle Eastern extremists these wars have created.

Problem is, they have given you trucks, big screen TVs, and disposable income. No one is going to risk all those luxuries for their rights and for the truth.

This is a Ron Paul speech remastered for emphasis on what he was trying to get across....Might put things in perspective for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiJod3DCh2E

 

[allencg101]

not to sound rude but if he joins the military that is awesome there is so much to do but if and when he does you gotta be ready to be put on the back burner cause when you enlist your country and your service comes first relationships come way after. and if you come into the mind set what branch so he won't be deployed you volunteered to go no matter were your country sends you. if he does join it will be the best decision he has every made. if he doesn't want to deploy or take the chance of dieing then maybe he should do something else like join the boy scouts and not waste the governments money for someone that wants to join and not deploy. our families are safe because our troops put theres aside.

 

[Elizadolots]

Amanda, all you can do is help him understand all the possible repercussions and then support him in whatever decision he makes. Note that supporting him might not include staying as his girlfriend. "You won't be here" is a reasonable reason for a girl of your age to break up with someone (because I'm reasonably sure "you chew gum weird" is considered a valid reason). You are young and you deserve to get to date and do fun stuff while he's away being a soldier, if he does enlist...that's just one of the facts he needs to consider.

If it were me, I would try to take him to a place where wounded soldiers are doing their recovery. He needs to go into it with his eyes open and that includes facing the very real possibility of life changing injury.

I think it takes a special kind of person to enlist and just maybe your boyfriend is that type, deep inside...and that would be amazing and wonderful. I know I will be grateful to him for enlisting if he does.

However, your boyfriend should not enlist because his dad wants his only son to follow in his footsteps. It has to come from inside.

Help him decide then respect his decision.

 

[Solid Snake]

not to sound rude but if he joins the military that is awesome there is so much to do but if and when he does you gotta be ready to be put on the back burner cause when you enlist your country and your service comes first relationships come way after. and if you come into the mind set what branch so he won't be deployed you volunteered to go no matter were your country sends you. if he does join it will be the best decision he has every made. if he doesn't want to deploy or take the chance of dieing then maybe he should do something else like join the boy scouts and not waste the governments money for someone that wants to join and not deploy. our families are safe because our troops put theres aside.

This.

The entire military is downsizing at this point in time.
It is harder to enlist, and re-enlist as it has previously been, because of this.
All the branches are being more selective, and taking this opportunity to get rid of the people they do not need/do not want to be there.

This should be a decision that should be left to him, with no outside interference. If he really wants to go, he will. That should be for a good reason, being pressured into it in any way, is not a good reason.

The military has a ton to offer, if that is the type of life an individual wants to live.

The Marines and Airforce are probably the hardest to get into right now, for various reasons.

The Army is a good bet. They are very well funded, and maintaining the largest numbers all around. They offer a wide variety of training that can be applied later on in life.

There are serious issues going on in the world today.
I would recommend he read up on whats going on with Iran and Korea especially. These are not joking matters, they are extremely serious.

Leave it to him, and be supportive of whatever decision he makes.

 

[Mredhorse]

The choice has to be his or he will always blame someone else for the rest of his life. I was a Marine for 8 years and have 2 sons, one in the army (left monday for 1 year tour in S. Korea) and one in the Navy stationed (shore duty) in Jacksonville Fl. I know the the problems and the advantages dealing with and without family. I also know that long distance relationships work for very few even if there is true love in the picture.
There are more advantages being in the military than disadvantages, one is the ability to serve millions of people you don't know and another is the speed one is trained to be responsible. We may see many irresponsible acts by all services but it is actually a small amount compaired to the big picture.

If you do get married, the military has great benefits. I just visited my son and his family before leaving for Korea and with all the bennies, his family is living in a GREAT house payed with all the assistance they earn. 0 i mean ZERO out of pocket for Huge house and backyard in Colorado Springs.
If you have specific questions please don't be shy to ask and if your Bf would like sound advice, have him ask some questions also.

I am pro military and like many other countries we should spend a few years for the bigger cause. That being said, not everyone should join but a person will grow from all experiences good or bad.

I am currently a student in college (paying my own way because Vets from Desert Sheild/ Storms did not get the same bennies as Iraq war and Afg. war vets) IT just means more to me to be sucessful, if we don't need the help, I don't feel we should ask or get it. (there are many worst off and they can use it more). JMO Getting of my soap box. Thanks for your time...

 

[Elizadolots]

If you do get married, the military has great benefits. I just visited my son and his family before leaving for Korea and with all the bennies, his family is living in a GREAT house payed with all the assistance they earn. 0 i mean ZERO out of pocket for Huge house and backyard in Colorado Springs.

Just noting this is why I don't engage in "adopt a military family" and other such pleas to have me give my money to military families. They are provided with much "richer" stuff than I am able to afford for my family...I've known military families who bought their tween girls tanning beds. They usually have huge TVs and multiple gaming systems and SUV's that could eat my 15 year old Saturn....

And, trust me, I live among military housing.