Panther M 2 Years Old - Something off

Everyone, your kind words mean a lot to me. I’m still pretty shook up over the whole ordeal. Never wouldve guessed when I took him in 4 months ago, I’d be posting to the forums for anything like this.

Dr Graham was great with me and Griffin, the appointment honestly started out like the rest of his other ones, i explained everything going on and the whole gamut. She was going to send him home with more pain meds and eye drops. She took him back and did a rinse and to remove his goop. She said she got some but couldn’t get the rest out. She said that she could sedate him and do an eye stain and also get a good look at his eye when he’s not fighting her. I said sure go ahead, let’s get to the bottom of this, no sense in prolonging what happened at every other appointment, get pain meds and eye drops, do them for two weeks and then he will plateau and then start to slow down and regress slowly with his eyes closing again.

She did the procedure, called me (i was in the parking lot hanging out since i lived an hour and 45mins away. She said the procedure is over can you call me back and we go over a few things. My heart sank. I just got out of my car and walked inside, i asked if something happened during the procedure and she said that nothing happened. She said during the eye staining she removed the rest of the material in his eye and found his cornea ruptured in the bottom of his eye, explaining why it kept coming back / not going away after the last flush completely In December. She explained that either a tumor or something got in his eye and it caused this damage. The sensitivity to light as well was caused by this as well. We went over what the options were, i could take him home, give him pain meds like he was getting from each visit. Medicated eye drops and subside the pain while being treated but it would come back afterwards. She said there is no real healing with that and that eye removal is needed. I was like WOAH, she said that if it was a tumor causing the rupture it wouldnt be as painful for him to live with the eye but it can grow, cause plenty of other issues. She said if it was torn / ruptured from something stuck in it, she said that he will be in constant pain and complications were highly likely after every shed. So basically i thought either pay for the surgery or they are gonna suggest euthanizing him. DAMN, then she said well we have a surrender option for people who can’t afford the surgery but have an otherwise healthy animal and they would be expected to recover after the surgery. She said i took amazing care of him and I didn’t do anything to cause this which was a relief because let me tell you how much i‘ve been rough on myself over this whole ordeal over these months. I knew i was doing my best and doing more than most would for this little guy.

I went over the process a little more with her during the signing of papers of what the process is like, she said she donates her time and will perform the surgery. Once he’s healed he will be offered to be taken care of from vets who knew what they would getting in to, then she promised me if no one would take it on that she would take him in and care for him because he was healthy otherwise.

I hope that no one feels like I gave up on him, i made a promise to him when i took him in that he’d get the best life possible like i do for all my reptiles. If i had anywhere close to 2,000 to drop on the surgery and then cover follow up visits and who knows what other possibilities there are I would have done it in a second. I don’t think i would’ve been keeping up my promise to him to give him the best life possible. It was out of my monetary capacity at this point and I’d be such a mess taking care of him after the surgery it would’ve aged me 10 years haha

Being in constant pain is no fair to him and would’ve been selfish for me to keep extending his pain over visits.

Today’s visit was 298 dollars, I accidentally tried to pay with a wendy’s gift card(lol), i was such a mess.

Another thing she noted is that the vet seeing him originally would have never seen the issue without sedation and eye staining. So, she didnt think that his original vet did anything wrong at all and she said that she would’ve done the same things and that through my diligence we would relieve his pain.

I’m not done with reptiles or giving up. Hopefully others got something out of my experience through this whole process.

This community has been great to me and Griffin.

I hope my rambling didnt gloss over anything, I’m trying to be thorough and share every part of my experience.

Thanks so much and with love,

Nate
 
My heart is breaking for you. I’m so very sorry that this all has happened. While it’s wonderful that Griffin will receive the care he needs and live a pain free life, his loss still hurts. Oh my goodness! How could anyone think that you gave up on your sweet guy! You made such a tremendous sacrifice of your own heart in order for him to have what he needs and have a pain free future! That is one of the biggest expressions of love that there is. Sending you many big hugs. ((( 💗)))
 
Everyone, your kind words mean a lot to me. I’m still pretty shook up over the whole ordeal. Never wouldve guessed when I took him in 4 months ago, I’d be posting to the forums for anything like this.

Dr Graham was great with me and Griffin, the appointment honestly started out like the rest of his other ones, i explained everything going on and the whole gamut. She was going to send him home with more pain meds and eye drops. She took him back and did a rinse and to remove his goop. She said she got some but couldn’t get the rest out. She said that she could sedate him and do an eye stain and also get a good look at his eye when he’s not fighting her. I said sure go ahead, let’s get to the bottom of this, no sense in prolonging what happened at every other appointment, get pain meds and eye drops, do them for two weeks and then he will plateau and then start to slow down and regress slowly with his eyes closing again.

She did the procedure, called me (i was in the parking lot hanging out since i lived an hour and 45mins away. She said the procedure is over can you call me back and we go over a few things. My heart sank. I just got out of my car and walked inside, i asked if something happened during the procedure and she said that nothing happened. She said during the eye staining she removed the rest of the material in his eye and found his cornea ruptured in the bottom of his eye, explaining why it kept coming back / not going away after the last flush completely In December. She explained that either a tumor or something got in his eye and it caused this damage. The sensitivity to light as well was caused by this as well. We went over what the options were, i could take him home, give him pain meds like he was getting from each visit. Medicated eye drops and subside the pain while being treated but it would come back afterwards. She said there is no real healing with that and that eye removal is needed. I was like WOAH, she said that if it was a tumor causing the rupture it wouldnt be as painful for him to live with the eye but it can grow, cause plenty of other issues. She said if it was torn / ruptured from something stuck in it, she said that he will be in constant pain and complications were highly likely after every shed. So basically i thought either pay for the surgery or they are gonna suggest euthanizing him. DAMN, then she said well we have a surrender option for people who can’t afford the surgery but have an otherwise healthy animal and they would be expected to recover after the surgery. She said i took amazing care of him and I didn’t do anything to cause this which was a relief because let me tell you how much i‘ve been rough on myself over this whole ordeal over these months. I knew i was doing my best and doing more than most would for this little guy.

I went over the process a little more with her during the signing of papers of what the process is like, she said she donates her time and will perform the surgery. Once he’s healed he will be offered to be taken care of from vets who knew what they would getting in to, then she promised me if no one would take it on that she would take him in and care for him because he was healthy otherwise.

I hope that no one feels like I gave up on him, i made a promise to him when i took him in that he’d get the best life possible like i do for all my reptiles. If i had anywhere close to 2,000 to drop on the surgery and then cover follow up visits and who knows what other possibilities there are I would have done it in a second. I don’t think i would’ve been keeping up my promise to him to give him the best life possible. It was out of my monetary capacity at this point and I’d be such a mess taking care of him after the surgery it would’ve aged me 10 years haha

Being in constant pain is no fair to him and would’ve been selfish for me to keep extending his pain over visits.

Today’s visit was 298 dollars, I accidentally tried to pay with a wendy’s gift card(lol), i was such a mess.

Another thing she noted is that the vet seeing him originally would have never seen the issue without sedation and eye staining. So, she didnt think that his original vet did anything wrong at all and she said that she would’ve done the same things and that through my diligence we would relieve his pain.

I’m not done with reptiles or giving up. Hopefully others got something out of my experience through this whole process.

This community has been great to me and Griffin.

I hope my rambling didnt gloss over anything, I’m trying to be thorough and share every part of my experience.

Thanks so much and with love,

Nate
I wish the post reaction emojis were more accurate. I'd throw a care/hug your way if I could. I think you made the best decision you could within your means. 2k out of nowhere is a LOT of money. That the vet can give him relief and nurse Grif back to health, with a good place to live, is an amazing outcome, considering all things in the situation. I have mad respect for what you chose to do - that's NOT easy. I know it hurts, and it will for a bit. But hopefully you can also weather that pain with no guilt because you did FAR more than a lot of people would for "Just a lizard" and you got him the help he absolutely needed. You got him to a place where he wouldn't be in pain and can live a solid life. You did amazingly. Hugs and mad respect to you from me.
 
Everyone, your kind words mean a lot to me. I’m still pretty shook up over the whole ordeal. Never wouldve guessed when I took him in 4 months ago, I’d be posting to the forums for anything like this.

Dr Graham was great with me and Griffin, the appointment honestly started out like the rest of his other ones, i explained everything going on and the whole gamut. She was going to send him home with more pain meds and eye drops. She took him back and did a rinse and to remove his goop. She said she got some but couldn’t get the rest out. She said that she could sedate him and do an eye stain and also get a good look at his eye when he’s not fighting her. I said sure go ahead, let’s get to the bottom of this, no sense in prolonging what happened at every other appointment, get pain meds and eye drops, do them for two weeks and then he will plateau and then start to slow down and regress slowly with his eyes closing again.

She did the procedure, called me (i was in the parking lot hanging out since i lived an hour and 45mins away. She said the procedure is over can you call me back and we go over a few things. My heart sank. I just got out of my car and walked inside, i asked if something happened during the procedure and she said that nothing happened. She said during the eye staining she removed the rest of the material in his eye and found his cornea ruptured in the bottom of his eye, explaining why it kept coming back / not going away after the last flush completely In December. She explained that either a tumor or something got in his eye and it caused this damage. The sensitivity to light as well was caused by this as well. We went over what the options were, i could take him home, give him pain meds like he was getting from each visit. Medicated eye drops and subside the pain while being treated but it would come back afterwards. She said there is no real healing with that and that eye removal is needed. I was like WOAH, she said that if it was a tumor causing the rupture it wouldnt be as painful for him to live with the eye but it can grow, cause plenty of other issues. She said if it was torn / ruptured from something stuck in it, she said that he will be in constant pain and complications were highly likely after every shed. So basically i thought either pay for the surgery or they are gonna suggest euthanizing him. DAMN, then she said well we have a surrender option for people who can’t afford the surgery but have an otherwise healthy animal and they would be expected to recover after the surgery. She said i took amazing care of him and I didn’t do anything to cause this which was a relief because let me tell you how much i‘ve been rough on myself over this whole ordeal over these months. I knew i was doing my best and doing more than most would for this little guy.

I went over the process a little more with her during the signing of papers of what the process is like, she said she donates her time and will perform the surgery. Once he’s healed he will be offered to be taken care of from vets who knew what they would getting in to, then she promised me if no one would take it on that she would take him in and care for him because he was healthy otherwise.

I hope that no one feels like I gave up on him, i made a promise to him when i took him in that he’d get the best life possible like i do for all my reptiles. If i had anywhere close to 2,000 to drop on the surgery and then cover follow up visits and who knows what other possibilities there are I would have done it in a second. I don’t think i would’ve been keeping up my promise to him to give him the best life possible. It was out of my monetary capacity at this point and I’d be such a mess taking care of him after the surgery it would’ve aged me 10 years haha

Being in constant pain is no fair to him and would’ve been selfish for me to keep extending his pain over visits.

Today’s visit was 298 dollars, I accidentally tried to pay with a wendy’s gift card(lol), i was such a mess.

Another thing she noted is that the vet seeing him originally would have never seen the issue without sedation and eye staining. So, she didnt think that his original vet did anything wrong at all and she said that she would’ve done the same things and that through my diligence we would relieve his pain.

I’m not done with reptiles or giving up. Hopefully others got something out of my experience through this whole process.

This community has been great to me and Griffin.

I hope my rambling didnt gloss over anything, I’m trying to be thorough and share every part of my experience.

Thanks so much and with love,

Nate
Sending a hug. You are amazing and griff was lucky to have you in his life. You may have been a pathway but he will still be happy and healthy in his home with a vet who cares because of you. I’m afraid what may have been his fate had you not gotten him some months back. 😊 keep your head up and do share what the future brings.
 
I'm sooo terrible sorry for you both and it hurts to read about it. You did everything perfect and can't do much more at the moment. Hopefully the vet sees the light and let you care for Griffin eventually, don't go up hope!
My thoughts are with you and Griffin 💚
 
Griffin has a ruptured cornea / tumor and I can’t afford the surgery so i had to surrender him to the vet. She said she will do the surgery and keep him since I can’t afford the surgery to remove his eye. He’s in a lot of pain and he needs his eye removed. I feel so awful 😭 I just want him to not be in pain and I felt like me taking him home to be in pain wasn’t fair. Thank You for all your help. I’m a mess

Really wish I had an extra 2000 dollars right now so I didn’t have to do that. Everyone on this forum has been so helpful to me and him. I’m so sad and upset. At least he will still be able to be alive and taken care of by a vet. 😭😭😭
Oh Nate I am so sorry to hear this. What an impossible decision to make. You put him and his needs first. Sending you a virtual hug 💗💗💗

We are all here for you if you need anything.
 
I'm so sorry to read all this. Do you know if he has had the removal done yet n how he is doing now? You did so far and beyond more than alot will do for their pets, and I think you did a wonderful job caretaking for him. This was just the absolute worst and unfortunate outcome, which you had no responsibility for. You loved him, that was obvious! PM me when you feel up to it.
 
I'm so sorry to read all this. Do you know if he has had the removal done yet n how he is doing now? You did so far and beyond more than alot will do for their pets, and I think you did a wonderful job caretaking for him. This was just the absolute worst and unfortunate outcome, which you had no responsibility for. You loved him, that was obvious! PM me when you feel up to it.
When I asked her if I could call and check on him she said that they don’t offer that info anymore since I’m no longer his owner :( I even offered my info if she had any questions about anything if myself or them forget to gather but she said that wouldn’t be necessary. I’m slowly understanding and getting in to my brain that I didn’t cause this and that something like this could happen to anyone and it just makes me question myself a lot. Im working on processing it still. I know it sounds silly
 
When I asked her if I could call and check on him she said that they don’t offer that info anymore since I’m no longer his owner :( I even offered my info if she had any questions about anything if myself or them forget to gather but she said that wouldn’t be necessary. I’m slowly understanding and getting in to my brain that I didn’t cause this and that something like this could happen to anyone and it just makes me question myself a lot. Im working on processing it still. I know it sounds silly
It’s not silly at all. You did right by him.
 
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