Slippery Slope To Reptile Hell

[Yemen08]

Just found this post on another forum whilst doing some research and it made me chuckle!!
If your thinking of becoming a herper then you should read this first

So, you think you want an iguana, do you? Just like that guy down the
street when you were kid that drove that old hippie van. Well you'd better
think long and hard about the path that you're leading yourself down. I
know. I've been there. Oh yeah, it starts innocently enough. You want an
iguana because they are interesting, you say. They don't make noise, you
say. They only eat vegetables, you say. No trouble at all, you say.
Right!

Well think again! These "innocent" iguanas are "gateway lizards". They
will lead you down a sad and tragic path of misery. They are the starting
gate for a long and downward spiral into reptile hell. Trust me. I've been
there.

It starts simply enough. First you need an aquarium. Then you need some
lights. Then you need vitamin supplement. Before long, that cute little
iguana has outgrown its tank, and then you need to build a cage. Cage after
cage it goes through, getting bigger and bigger, like a festering boil that
you try to ignore. it spends its time in the corner, growing. Consuming
your time.

Then your attention turns elsewhere. You need a bigger challenge. A
bearded dragon. Right! We've all been there, my friend. But that bearded
dragon needs insects. Now where are you? A slave to the schedule of the
pet stores and bait shops. Then you start buying them in bulk to save some
money. You don't worry about the way the mail man looks at you, just like
you didn't notice when your friends stopped calling. By this time, you're
in deep my friend. Real deep.

Then it happens. You move on to the hard stuff. Chameleons. You
rationalize that all this is just a hobby. How hard can they be? They may
look innocent enough, but don't be fooled my friend. Nay! You start by
buying one, and then you find out you need a bigger habitat, and the lights
just keep getting more and more expensive. Variety of diet is oh so
important. And then you need another chameleon, and another. What about
montane species? Now you're sliding down the path out of control. Sure.
Its interesting. They seem fun enough. Then you hit rock bottom. You tell
your spouse that the back room is off limits because you're running a
breeding experiment. I "need" the garbage can because my female is laying
eggs. I've got to run to the store right now to get some vermiculite...yes,
I know its midnight. Finally, reality isn't important. You're lost in a
world of arboreal lizards. Running around in your neighbors yard with a
butterfly net catching field plankton. sneaking outside in your underwear
to collect moths near the porch light. Finally you wake up one day, covered
with minerall and crusting vermiculite in your hair wondering what you've
done to your life. You've given up your lucrative career for a job in a pet
store. Your friends have abandoned you. Who needs them? You have your
reptiles. Thats all that matters.

I've been there, my friend. Oh yes. We've all been there. So, you think
twice before you buy that iguana little camper. You don't know what you're
doing...


But, whatever you decide - I wish you nothing but the best!!

Jaylyn

 

[albert]

Oh no, that sounds all too familiar. I started with a chinese soft shell turtle. Then 3 bearded dragons, then 2 ball pythons, an irain jaya blue tongue skink, a brazilian rainbow boa, an emerald tree boa, a western painted turtle and just two weeks ago - a panther chameleon. Along with 5 fish aquariums both freshwater and salt, 2 cats and a tarantula.

I have given tours of my house to the local daycare and the elementary school across the street - groups of kids one class at a time from kindergarten to grade 4. I think my house has turned into the local zoo.

 

[heartben]

haha. pretty much true id say. my dad had an iguana for awhile. i personally decided just to skip ahead to the chameleon.

unfortunately now ive been thinking bearded dragons look pretty cool.. and i DO have an awful lot of crickets to get rid of.. hmm..

 

[Yemen08]

Oh no, that sounds all too familiar. I started with a chinese soft shell turtle. Then 3 bearded dragons, then 2 ball pythons, an irain jaya blue tongue skink, a brazilian rainbow boa, an emerald tree boa, a western painted turtle and just two weeks ago - a panther chameleon. Along with 5 fish aquariums both freshwater and salt, 2 cats and a tarantula.

I have given tours of my house to the local daycare and the elementary school across the street - groups of kids one class at a time from kindergarten to grade 4. I think my house has turned into the local zoo.

You should start recuperating the costs by charging for entry

 

[davthevieled]

Oh god.... and here I am, two thousand crickets deep! What is a man to do? Oh wait... I know what a man is to do.... Who is breeding Mellers atm?

 

[okiroo]

oh no! i started with an iguana XD than redneck slider than a fire belly newt... it just goes on and on. than a cham! best thing ever.

 

[karmajaye]

hahaha. This is sad and true. Green Iguana to red eared slider turtles, to Garder Snakes, to Chams. <3 Love it.

 

[Phelsuma]

I started off with two Hermann's tortoises 16 years ago and within 6 months a White Spot gecko and a Moorish gecko joined the gang. I was sensible for a while then the reptile virus took over and now I think its perfectly normal to have mice in my freezer even though I'm vegetarian. I even bought a starter colony of dubia cockroaches today but I don't think the neighbours need to know that! My hobby may never be "normal" but its certainly fun and I can't imagine having a reptile free house - that would not be normal. Anyway now up to 47 reptiles with another two acquisitions imminent. Have I passed the point of no return?

 

[ataraxia]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! i love it! ive laffed at myself a few times while with a net catching bugs. he forgot to mention how neighbors look at you with all the cages on your front porch and also when you get to the point you pay your nieces money for locust they catch!

this was the day of knowing i had it real bad......i looked at my wife and said "im buying a butterfly net". i laffed for a few seconds, then thought where can i buy one!

 

[wendyeeeo]

I used to squish bugs in my old school with my shoe (I'm a teacher). Recently a nasty one had the attention of lots of students and my principal - immediately I ran over and said, "Wait! Maybe I can feed it to my
Chameleon." The look from my principal was priceless.

And yesterday I came home early from a camping trip - it was my first night "away" from my chameleon since he arrived 2 months ago. I never made it to midnight - drove two hours back home on the same day cuz "maybe my son won't tuck in Kirby properly." (turn off lights). I have to be there to tuck him in!

 

[Symbiot]

The accuracy is scary. I started with an iguana, to red eared slider, mud turtle, about 5 more iguanas after that, a veiled, panther chameleon, and now recently another panther chameleon. At least it's only one panther chameleon at the moment, haha.

 

[Yemen08]

Is it worth of it? OF COURSE IT IS!!