Societal stigma around reptile and insect keepers

[RedMountainHome]

I'm gonna rant a bit.

By most any account I'm a fairly successful person. I've got a good job, fun friends, a fantastic and supportive family, I earned a college degree while I was in the army, I pay my taxes, and I'll flatter myself by saying I'm a pretty stand-up kind of guy. However, when people hear that I've got pet reptiles, and god forbid that I keep tarantulas and a colony of roaches, I often get a slant-eyed glare as they assume that I'm some kind of degenerate!

I'm cool with the knowledge that some of my hobbies aren't for everyone, but it really gets under my skin when people assume they're just the idiosyncrasies of weird boys who never grew up. Like today at work, one coworker asked after some of my pets and an older co-worker made a comment along the lines of "No wonder he's not married, no woman would allow that in her home"

I don't know why there's this assumption that women are scared of "creepy crawlies". Hell, an ex girl friend of mine was the one who suggested I get my first tarantula and a starter colony of dubia to feed it! Just two weeks ago I sold a couple hundred of those roaches to a really nice college girl to feed her menagerie of exotic pets. MANY of the best reptile and insect / tarantula breeders are unapologetically female. Whenever I go to an exotic animal show I see a fairly even number of men and women selling their wares to a crowd that has many times more women than it has basement-dwellers wearing socks and sandals (no offense intended to said basement dwellers). I'm curious - do you ladies out there get served up similar bullshit when people find out what pets you keep?

Outside of the sexual stereotypes, the vast majority of hobbyists and breeders that I've met are just regular people like myself. Walking down the street you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between us and those who'd run away shrieking from a bearded dragon Sure there are some alternative types of folks who are into exotic animals just as much as they are into their tattoos, but I've never noticed any kind of correlation between lifestyle choices and a love of undomesticated animals

Ok, I'm all ranted out. Thanks for moving your eyeballs across my letters

 

[opheliaeatsbugs]

I think I have surprised many of my friends by admitting I have a tub of roaches under my bed and a chameleon in my bedroom. But there are plenty of other things in my life that make me different than mainstream folks... I won't bore with the details. I think the biggest difference between me and "them" is i admit, share, post, etc. and they don't. But we all have our nuances... the people that look at you funny just haven't admitted or shared with you the things that would make you look at them sideways lol

I have a friend who looks totally normal. But he follows cyclists... he rides a road bike, wears funny tight shorts and drives hours to watch cycling races with his family. Totally don't get that at all. He teases me about raising roaches and I make fun of his shorts... it's all good.

 

[Angelwolf]

Put it this way: YOU, my friend, are WAY MORE badass than he will ever be! And when he has something to say about your pets, tell him to go eat a roach!!

 

[RedMountainHome]

It's not so much about being more or less than anyone else, and my best friendships are usually based around giving each other shit.

What gets me is the negativity and the stereotypes. Any kind of willful ignorance gets under my skin.

 

[Klaudiemo]

I actually get quite opposite reactions ! When people find out I have reptiles, they get really curious. I'm sure it has to do something with the gender stereotypes. I am woman, so people don't expect me to have hobby such as this.

 

[JacksJill]

People who assume get surprised a lot. I was pleasantly surprised to find so many women of all age ranges on this forum.
I wonder what the ratio of men to women is here?
I resent your coworker's assumption that women won't put up with reptiles and insects in their houses.
The first time I had dinner at my then friends house he showed me all the bugs he was breeding. We've been together for almost 4 years now. We trade dubia for silkworms all the time.

 

[Twitchet]

I'm female, I have insects, roaches, grubs, bugs, snakes, snails, lizards, had rats, mice, ferrets, I don't bother or I keep quiet about my hobby to be honest, much easier than the norms asking you why or saying it's disgusting, occasionally someone says how interesting but it's rare, sad really. There's nothing like talking to someone that has the same interest though, it's a buzz to share a passion but it doesn't happen often. Think that's why the forum is so great, you can talk about stuff and be understood about your passions and joys and worries.
Someone visited here once and I said I had dart frogs, would he like to see them, " oh no, I don't think so" in a 'how odd and yet boring too' voice. Can you imagine turning down seeing a jewel like a dart? His loss.
I don't think it's because I'm female that they say how weird, odd, strange, just think some people are closed off from what they don't realise is so beautiful.
Interesting thread, thanks for raising the question, be interesting to read more views.

 

[eahoormann]

I'm a 25 yr old female. My boyfriend, admittedly, got me at least interested in the idea of a reptile. One day we just got Leif, and now I want ALLL the other scale babies. I'm getting used to the ideas of 'creepy crawlies' because I grew up a pansy and don't like bugs!!

But I, as well, get more curious questions than negative criticisms. Maybe it is a male/female thing and that's crap! Who give two flying you-know-whats as to what your hobbies are!! Start telling people you practice Satanism... they won't care about the 'gross' things any more.

 

[RedMountainHome]

I do typically get more interested than negative reactions about the chameleons, especially when I whip out a pic of Toby when he's all colored up. However 4/5 times that I mentioned the feeder colonies or tarantulas I get a "less than pleasant" response. I appreciate all the comments so far, and am interested to hear more thoughts from guys and gals! =)

But @eahoormann, if I told anyone at work I practice Satanism (even as a joke) I'm sure I'd get fired within the week. I've learned to be careful who I even tell that I listen to NPR! Just one of them things about living in the south

 

[JacksJill]

Start telling people you practice Satanism... they won't care about the 'gross' things any more.

Yeah! that statement might lead straight to your exit interview. Funny thought though.

 

[eahoormann]

Yeah! that statement might lead straight to your exit interview. Funny thought though.

Well of course, but all in jest and only on the forums!

 

[Fireborn]

Little does your co worker know but all the best women are reptile lovers lol. Where I live the reptile shows are dominated by women.

 

[eahoormann]

Little does your co worker know but all the best women are reptile lovers lol. Where I live the reptile shows are dominated by women.

My boyfriend, who has owned just about the same as @RedMountainHome, always says "You're already a better reptile owner than I ever was!" He's amazed at how much research I do and all the new info I bring home about Leif!

 

[jamest0o0]

My gf isn't a fan of bugs and reptiles(but she likes our chams) and she lives with me, deals with me having roaches, etc. Although I'm obsessive and it prob drives her crazy lol. Any time I can, i'm tweaking things with my critters. Ive seen more girls than guys interested in this stuff though it seems.

Normal people won't berate you for being true to yourself and having a hobby. F anyone that does. they probably have issues with something in their own lives. I guess I'm lucky to be 25 years old, giant, and athletic in the sense that most people don't mess with me. More surprised when they learn that I'm *usually* an easy going dude that loves animals. Since I was a kid I was fascinated with weird creatures. I used to wish humans were reptiles not lame mammals. I remember picking up centipedes and spiders with my bare hands(now I'm a wimp!)

can't stand when people mess with others over being different. What? so we should just all be the same, listening to the tv, following trends? Do your thing! Happiness comes to those that are true to themselves! Screw anyone that has a problem with that.

 

[Scottsquatch]

I am new to chams, but as a breeder/hobbyist, I had over 100 snakes at one point. I was regarded as a weirdo by many and asked if I worshipped the devil on several occasions. People seem to fear what they don't understand.

 

[jamest0o0]

No weirdo here, personally I'm jealous!