Transplants?

[Trillian]

As most of you know, a few months ago I moved from a small village just outside London to a small village just outside New York City. It's been a huge culture shock and I'm still adjusting. The only family I have in the US are people I married or gave birth to. My family in the UK feel pretty abandoned by me, and I'm not sure I'll ever properly process the guilt for myself, or atone for it to pacify them. It is what it is. I've made a couple of friends, but rarely socialise the way I used to, I used to love clubbing and pubbing a couple of times a month, but social life here is very different. Especially as I don't have a spare $200,000 to join the local field club, where all the cool moms hang out.

I know a few other members have been transplanted far from your friends and family, either currently or previously. How do you adjust? As a grownup, how do you make friends? And why can't I find anyone in my tiny posh village who understands how much fun it is to dress up in toe-crushing heels, wear too much makeup and fall out of a club at dawn? How do you keep in touch over timezones? And how do you cope with not wanting to see people you left behind as much as they want to see you?

In case you want to see a random selection of photos I took during the ridiculous move, you can find them here. I still get tearful and shaky when I look through them, still haven't been able to look properly at the whole album!

 

[Kate]

Oh Ellie I think this it called being homesick. Moving home is a traumatic event in your life. You have probably been so busy making sure your girls, hubby and animals are all settled and haven't taken time for yourself. You have such a wicked sense of humour which will take you far. Give it time and carry on being yourself.

 

[Kmw]

I'm sorry, that sounds awful and I know nothing about coping with something like that.

However, I do know cute and you.. have two very, very cute little girls.

 

[AngieL]

I'm sorry I can't help you! I lived on a tiny island all my life, where everyone knows what your up to before you even do!

I am curious though, what made you decide to move so far away?

I would love to move away but it costs a small fortune just to get to Aberdeen never mind America!

Anyways, good for you for taking such a bold move

 

[Trillian]

Oh thank you! Definitely not homesick, it's the opposite if anything, I really don't want to go back to the UK even to visit people! Think that's upsetting friends and family. I just miss having a life, especially as I can't work because of my Visa restrictions. Women here are so different, not in a bad way, I just miss having immature friends who didn't talk about property prices, home renovation and private tutors. Plus Hubbles is on twice as much money but we struggle to pay the rent some months, it's ridiculous.

Short answer to why we moved: we wanted to see what it would be like to live in America. We've had holidays here loads of times and really loved it and wanted to give it a go.

 

[Wykd]

Yeah I suppose life is different in the us vs uk. I lived in the uk for 2 yrs and had a blast. I found it a much more enjoyable night life than stateside. I could walk/bike down to 1 of 4 pubs for some beers/darts and BS, over here I would have to drive or ride with someone to one of the few meet market hangouts where everyone was out to hook up and then pay for overpriced drinks.

I got to where I didn't go out much if any after a few months of moving back to the states, just was not the same FUN imo.

 

[AngieL]

Oh thank you! Definitely not homesick, it's the opposite if anything, I really don't want to go back to the UK even to visit people! Think that's upsetting friends and family. I just miss having a life, especially as I can't work because of my Visa restrictions. Women here are so different, not in a bad way, I just miss having immature friends who didn't talk about property prices, home renovation and private tutors. Plus Hubbles is on twice as much money but we struggle to pay the rent some months, it's ridiculous.

Short answer to why we moved: we wanted to see what it would be like to live in America. We've had holidays here loads of times and really loved it and wanted to give it a go.

Wow you are brave its amazing!

You'll find your group over there, it takes time to make friends even in your home town and even then it takes extra time to find out who your real friends are! I can understand why people are maybe disappointed that you don't want to go visit right now but hey, you did this for you, your husband, kids and people have different needs/wants in life.

Maybe in time you will want to visit but I'm sure you're just busy adjusting and finding your feet in your new environment and I can also understand why you wouldn't want to go visit just yet. You probably have a lot of other more personal reasons too, but that's for you to ponder

I get the urge to move to the mainland but simply can't afford it. If I left Shetland I highly doubt I would want to come back, but given enough time I would probably come see family etc, only once I felt established enough in my new life and felt I was 'visiting' rather than 'returning' if you get me

 

[camaleonte82]

I uprooted my whole life. i moved from home for the first time in my life from Mississippi to Pennsylvania. i have no family here and my family back home rarely speaks to me anymore. i had only one person here and that was not enough. my pets helped. but they were slowly obtained as i lived here. the looks of it i will not be going home for thanksgiving, Christmas, or anytime soon. most of my friends are through work or my fiance. it was REALLY hard. but i just sucked it up and pushed forward and put myself out there. but i still have maybe a third of the friends i had before