It's hard being hated by my cham

[TillysMom]

I've have my veiled for 2 1/2 months and it feels like years have gone by due to the amount of work she takes. I buy her the best food, research hour after hour perfecting knowledge about her moods, environment, needs, etc., and in return I get "the stink eye"! You know the look...back turned, head barely cocked back and a bulgy eye looking back saying, "aren't you dead yet?!"

I guess I need some encouragement/advice because I seem to have one of the shyest and most people hating chams. It is just sooooo much work, money, time, heart ache to put into something that can't stand the sight of me. I don't want to end up re-homing her. I always keep my pets. I love animals. I took her on as my responsibility. At the same time, it's torturous half the time. Should I just find someone who can accept her as she is? Should I never get another cham or should I have hope and find one that can at least let me take it out to sunbathe? Do their temperaments change in time? She is young still.

Dang her for being so cute. I would have sent her packing before but it's those silly moments where she sleeps spread-eagle on her cage mesh or turns a new vibrant pattern or perks up so much at sight of wax worm or has her tail straight as an arrow when she hunts...ugh, she had me at "hello". Little did I know the rest of that sentence would be, "now go away".

 

[maxttu]

Man, you gotta hold onto her. Chams aren't "really" pets meant to handle. Some will tolerate it more than others. Look up one of my threads of Chazam. I had to bust out a golf glove to get him out for fear that he'd draw blood! Patience, Danielson, patience... Easier said than done...

 

[Swayne8998]

I've have my veiled for 2 1/2 months and it feels like years have gone by due to the amount of work she takes. I buy her the best food, research hour after hour perfecting knowledge about her moods, environment, needs, etc., and in return I get "the stink eye"! You know the look...back turned, head barely cocked back and a bulgy eye looking back saying, "aren't you dead yet?!"

I guess I need some encouragement/advice because I seem to have one of the shyest and most people hating chams. It is just sooooo much work, money, time, heart ache to put into something that can't stand the sight of me. I don't want to end up re-homing her. I always keep my pets. I love animals. I took her on as my responsibility. At the same time, it's torturous half the time. Should I just find someone who can accept her as she is? Should I never get another cham or should I have hope and find one that can at least let me take it out to sunbathe? Do their temperaments change in time? She is young still.

Dang her for being so cute. I would have sent her packing before but it's those silly moments where she sleeps spread-eagle on her cage mesh or turns a new vibrant pattern or perks up so much at sight of wax worm or has her tail straight as an arrow when she hunts...ugh, she had me at "hello". Little did I know the rest of that sentence would be, "now go away".

Veileds can be tricky in terms of temperament. My veiled personally is very clingy, and trust me, it's not much better. Between 5-8 months, they go through their maturity change, and temperament usually changes with it.

You have to be enjoying the experience. If you want to rehome her, that's your choice. I'm very excited to hear you put so much of your time into her They are amazing creatures. Good luck.

 

[Swayne8998]

Adding onto my other post...

Hand feeding will generally gain you some love. Associate food with her, and it will go uphill.

Give her a little time. If you still want to rehome her, that's your decision.

 

[Elizadolots]

Both of mine hate me to some degree. One just tries really hard not to engage with me but isn't nasty, the other hisses and bites when I try to handle him.

I figure they are wild animals in my care, there is no reason they should act like dogs or even cats.

 

[TillysMom]

I guess I need to accept that the store owner fooled me and I made myself
fool-able by not researching first. Some people just seem to like and enjoy their cham so much that I figured maybe they had a "good" one and I had the worst. Like maybe if I just got a different one, it would be like the one at the store and like the one the owner said I could turn mine into if I did everything "right".
Thx everyone. I will hold some hope still just b/c she is so young and also it doesn't help that my spouse has done some damage to Tilly's trust by being so forceful and grabby. I'll have to put an end to that and just start over. At least she hand feeds. I do love that. Here's my fave latest pic. Fat belly to the side, full of silkworms.


http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphot...x403/538793_10151015216911854_396320330_n.jpg

 

[twatts704]

I have to say that it will not get better if you rehome her and get a new one. That's like saying my puppy keeps pissing and pooping in my house so I'm gonna get rid of her and get a new puppy and hope it doesn't do that. These animals are VERY fragile and delicate and take time. It is still a baby and still getting use to the world in itself. Not to mention a giant to them wanting to handle them. Its overwhelming to them and that's why they get so stressed. Give her time and just feel out what she needs. Some like to be handled more than others. I have always come to know that veileds are a little bit grumpier than most chams but I know that some can be sweet. I am housing a female right now that is sweet as can be but that's probably because she was on deaths bed when I rescued her from another owner who couldn't handle her. Beside the point, you just need to be patient and give her time. Admire her from afar. If you really want to build trust then do things like feed her treats (superworms or meal worms in your case at this age) after she has eaten well for you. Be slow with her when you reach into her cage and try to let her come to you, if she doesn't then don't force it, if she is showing stressed colors or puffing at you then back off. This is all part of building trust with her. It will not happen over night. Another thing that will help is take her outside daily. Give her the natural sun light. She will LOVE that and love you for taking her. Find her a tree/bush that she loves and crawls all over. Things like this are steps in bonding with your cham. This isn't just specific for a cham either it should be done with EVERY animal otherwise they will act wild. Another thing that might seem stupid but I think actually does work is talk to her. Have conversations with her based on her mood. May seem stupid and silly but my boy Bruce comes running out of his plants to find me when I go in the room and start talking to him. All my animals do, even my snakes lol. Anyway I hope this helps you and I really encourage you to keep with her. If you think its tough on you, imagine how she must feel then to have to go to another owner would be starting that hard to gain trust all over again. If you need any encouragement or advice then come to us. That's what we are for!!!

 

[AngieL]

I know how you feel! Ive had my girl 5 months and although she's not aggressive she is so scared of us! We look after her properly and do so much work to keep her healthy but she doesn't like us!

When you get a Cham it seems that some like people and some don't. It a bit of a raffle! But don't give up! Them being healthy and happy is their way of loving you back for all the work you put in. I take joy in when I do something right, like when I take her out and she has enjoyed the sun. Or when I make something for the enclosure and she uses it. even giving her the medicine she needs makes me feel good.

I know it's doesn't seem as much fun but getting to watch get grow up and thrive is reward enough for me

 

[Sir Rutherford]

Very well stated twatts704. It takes a good amount of time for you and your chameleon to gain an understanding. I would not even try to handle the cham till it is well adjusted to both its enclosure and you. Hand feeding is a great place to start.

 

[DavidBuchan]

...ugh, she had me at "hello". Little did I know the rest of that sentence would be, "now go away".

Lol - I know how you feel. My female veiled was 3 months old when I got her. After she hit a year was when she became comfortable enough with me to think that I actually am the food. Up until then she was always scared of the camera, now she wants to eat it because it's shiny This forum (with all its pictures) gives a bad indication of how much people handle chams and how comfortable they are with them......most chams are not 'friendly'. Yours doesn't hate you either, and if she hand feeds then you are well on the way to having a very tolerant cham. As everyone else said, it's just a matter of patience. Chameleon time is slow baby steps time

 

[Slofe]

Ha that's chameleons for you. Mine is 4 years old and I've handled him about 10 or 15 times in that period. I just don't bother to even try, it's not that he gets particularly angry, he has his moments, it's just that he clearly would rather be left alone and that's the case with about 98% of them. He does eat from my hand, so much so that he now only shoot his tongue out from a close distance rather than bothering to extend it all the way! Having said that I get so much pleasure out of just watching him and caring for his needs. I might not be the best keeper in the world but he's never had any problems (touch wood) and has never been on a hunger strike like I read about a lot on here. I have more trouble with his food and plants then I do him! I just love the 'F off and leave me alone' attitude they have. If you can accept that about them, accept that they're not cuddly wuddly and accept them for how they are you'll get a lot more joy from them.

 

[ZombieChameleon]

To be honest it sounds like you want a bearded dragon. Just hit up clist for your area or try to find your local herp society and see if some one that does rescue work is will to "trade" your Cham for a dragon or something. On a side note (no offience) what's up with people now saying "rehoming" just say what it is. Giving it away. Some one on clist where I live was trying to get a "rehoming" fee for a cat he found on the street-.- that's just saying hey I wana make a profit off this abandoned cat.

 

[SliK JiM]

If I had a £ every time my Veiled got grumpy, I would be loaded!

He used to be 'alright' but in his old age he must literally detest me! As soon as I enter the room he slinks away to wait for me to leave and will only venture out if I have waxworms! Then he'll stay out for a bit, but still look like he wants to chew my arm off!

Compare him to my panther chameleon and it couldn't be more different! He just wants to come out and chill. He will happily explore around and wind up sitting on my shoulder/head till I have to put him away for the night.

Very bizarre, but as someone said, they are wild solo animals, so i wouldn't expect any interaction sadly.

 

[Psychobunny]

Both of mine hate me to some degree. One just tries really hard not to engage with me but isn't nasty, the other hisses and bites when I try to handle him.

I figure they are wild animals in my care, there is no reason they should act like dogs or even cats.

I agree with this, and it is what I understood BEFORE I got my first cham (which was a veiled, btw).
If I can get them to hand feed and not totally freak out at the sight of me, I feel that's enough.
If they want to climb on me for a moment, that's up to them.

And I know exactly what you mean by the "arent you dead yet" stare!

But they can go right from that stare, to coming up to climb on you in a heartbeat, so it doesnt mean what it looks like

 

[jannb]

I think it's really sad that your chameleon is so scare and so stressed. If you can get her out of the cage they are more friendly once out. Buy a small tree or plant and allow her to hang on it while you watch. Try interacting with her. It might take some time but she will come around and be a much happier chameleon. Carol has a blog about getting them out. I'll try to find you a link to that.

This is not exactly what I was thinking about where she tells about using a stick to get them out but maybe it will be helpful.
https://www.chameleonforums.com/blogs/carol5208/450-ah-handle-not-handle.html

 

[ISA my Veiled]

Wow you guys make me feel blessed, I have not ran into a moment where Isabella hates me and tries to rip my hand off yet and she is nearly 6 months old. Weird lol she normally if I put my fingers on her belly climbs right on and we go outside for some fun

Anyway like everyone else said, it is just going to take you more time. She doesn't hate you one bit. It is a weird situation for an animal. They are inside rather than outside, they don't know what they are doing there, you are huge to them, they can't roam where they wish. It is like a culture shock to them, it would be the same if I up and left to India to live there the rest of my life. Weird environment. Time, time, time and plenty of attempts to hand feed. Chin up, you will have those days where it is awesome and you are excited and then those satins minion day where she hates the world. Extremely common with these guys. The best thing you can do is try to associate yourself with food and hope she catches on. Good luck!

 

[kokom05lb]

Ive had my boy Ringo since he was 2.5 months old. Hes 8 months, almost 9 months and he hates to be handled. I know have a beardie that I can handle no matter what to feed my handling hunger. I love Ringo with all my heart, hes my baby! Would never think about sending him packing. I do handfed and cupfed but realized that he isnt going to want to be handled anytime soon. Pretty much being a stubborn teen

 

[TyggyToo]

Don't rehome, don't give up, and don't expect a chameleon to be anything but a chameleon. I handle my veiled on nearly a daily basis (returning him to his cage after free-ranging), and he still detests it, hisses, strikes and clings to the least accessible points of the room. S..L..O..W....D..O..W..N. slow down even more. Think on 'cham-time' which is related to geologic time.

Try this and be patient: get an order of silkworms. Once a day at the same time put a silkie in an accessible place in her cage. Same place every time. When a few days later you see her expecting it, put the silky on your finger, your finger in the cage, and rest your arm on something because you may be there for 15 minutes. From this point on, NO SILKIES unless from your finger. When she takes it, remove your hand, shut the cage and leave the room. This is training her that pressure (your presence) will be released (your absence) if she approaches and takes the reward.

Predictability will help. I've tried to maintain a schedule of watering, cleaning feeding and treating and roaming so my male veiled gets used to me being there and not trying to handle him.

Submitted for your approval,
Tyg