dreamforthedead
New Member
Q: What do you call a handsome intelligent man?
A: A rumor.
A: A rumor.
Last edited:
Lame Joke Contest~~ :)
- Thread starter drcrossfire
- Start date
dreamforthedead
New Member
This guy comes back from the toilet, when a women says to him, "Hey, you have left your GARAGE door open"!"
As the man is zipping his fly up, he says with a big smile,"Did you see my big black hummer?"
The woman replies, "Nope just a MINI COOPER with two flat tires."
As the man is zipping his fly up, he says with a big smile,"Did you see my big black hummer?"
The woman replies, "Nope just a MINI COOPER with two flat tires."
dreamforthedead
New Member
Q. What book do you like the most?
A. Woman: "My husbands checkbook."
A. Woman: "My husbands checkbook."
dreamforthedead
New Member
2 girls meet:
- me & my husband are no longer together...
- why?
- well, could you live with a person who smokes weed, drinks, has no job and always cusses?
- no, of course I couldn't!
- well he couldn't either!
- me & my husband are no longer together...
- why?
- well, could you live with a person who smokes weed, drinks, has no job and always cusses?
- no, of course I couldn't!
- well he couldn't either!
dreamforthedead
New Member
What is the longest word in the English language?
"Smiles". Because there is a mile between its first and last letters!
"Smiles". Because there is a mile between its first and last letters!
kaylie
New Member
A duck walks into a hardware store, says to the guy at the counter, "Got any gwapes (grapes)?"
He says no and the duck leaves.
Duck comes back the next day, "Got any gwapes?"
Guy says, "No, I told you we don't". Duck leaves.
Duck comes back again the next day, "Got any gwapes?"
Guy says, "No, and if you ask me again I'm gonna staple your feet to the floor!" Duck leaves.
Duck comes back yet again the next day, "Got any staples?"
Guy says, "No, sorry".
Duck says, "Got any gwapes?"
He says no and the duck leaves.
Duck comes back the next day, "Got any gwapes?"
Guy says, "No, I told you we don't". Duck leaves.
Duck comes back again the next day, "Got any gwapes?"
Guy says, "No, and if you ask me again I'm gonna staple your feet to the floor!" Duck leaves.
Duck comes back yet again the next day, "Got any staples?"
Guy says, "No, sorry".
Duck says, "Got any gwapes?"
Eltortu
Established Member
Third time is the charm, so...yo mama is so stupid she got fired from a blowjob...ha!
C
ChameleonsInMyHouse
Guest
So...a guy walks into a bar...OUCH! i should really stop texting and walking at the same time
WOW. betcha didnt see that one comin!
WOW. betcha didnt see that one comin!
C
ChameleonsInMyHouse
Guest
thats not a lame joke, we all know the answer is ChameleonsInMyHouse
not sure whatcha tryin to deny miss lol
drcrossfire
Avid Member
What do you call a bear with no teeth??
A gummy bear!!
A gummy bear!!
D
DavidBuchan
Guest
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
D
DavidBuchan
Guest
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
drcrossfire
Avid Member
PrettyInInk87
New Member
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog.
Carlton
Chameleon Enthusiast
A talking duck walks in to a bar and orders a sandwich and a beer. Another customer gets excited and calls the bartender over. "wow, a talking duck! Could you please give him my business card? I have a circus and we could sure use him."
The bartender hands the card to the duck who says "Hmm, what would a circus want with a drywaller?"
The bartender hands the card to the duck who says "Hmm, what would a circus want with a drywaller?"
djfishygillz
Avid Member
blurp
What's a dogs least favorite reptile?
A chameleons because they are color blind.
NOW THAT IS A LAME JOKE RIGHT THERE PEOPLE! lol
What's a dogs least favorite reptile?
A chameleons because they are color blind.
NOW THAT IS A LAME JOKE RIGHT THERE PEOPLE! lol
djfishygillz
Avid Member
