Reasons to buy a chameleon instead of a dog

This is gonna be my next dog...can anyone identify the breed
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My husband was a mailman once upon a time (be still my heart). You would be surprised how often they get bit. Or worse. His fondest memory is when he was delivering mail in a particularly bad neighborhood when a car sped past, slammed the breaks and threw a trash bag in the road. As my husband approached he realized there was a severed head next to it and a presumably dead body inside.

Never underestimate a mailman - they’ve seen some stuff!
 
My husband was a mailman once upon a time (be still my heart). You would be surprised how often they get bit. Or worse. His fondest memory is when he was delivering mail in a particularly bad neighborhood when a car sped past, slammed the breaks and threw a trash bag in the road. As my husband approached he realized there was a severed head next to it and a presumably dead body inside.

Never underestimate a mailman - they’ve seen some stuff!
Great maybe I should check what’s in that bag I picked up off the road this weekend
 
u know, I want a hedge hog now that we're talking future pets, although I heard theyre huffy

Did someone say hedgehog?

Meet Prickle Hoggleton the Grouch.
 

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I chased one while drunk once, one of my proudest moments. This is it

Haha that's a funny thing to picture in my head.

PRICKLE. HOGGLETON. THE GROUCH. If that's not the best name for a hedgehog I dont know what is. My God I can die knowing I've lived a fulfilled life knowing this hedgehog is out there in the world.

I picked that name randomly and it's supposed to sound British because he turns up his nose at 90% of the food I offered him, he's too classy I guess. No offense for the British stereotype though.
 
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